Screentime for Kids...

Found this very interesting article.  Now you'll have to excuse me as I go tear my children away from the screen for some family fun!

Psychology Today Screentime Article

Simple Sunday Solution: LDS Sharing Time Primary Schedule

I created this little sticker chart for a little guy at my church.  The way it works is after each part of the routine (opening song; opening prayer, scripture, and talk; singing time; and sharing time) he can put a sticker on his chart.  We give this little chart to his parents after church, and they give him a little reward.  It is working wonders!  Not only does this little guy get a treat, but he is doing really well and doing what is expected and participating during this part of church.  Hope this can be helpful to you!  (Chart was created using graphics from found online at LDS.org)

Tallyho!

Lindsay

Simplifying Sunday

Ok, I know it's Monday, but I've still got Sunday on my mind!

Sunday.  A reverent day, where children sit quietly through church soaking up all the wonderful spiritual material, then return home to find activities that will nourish and edify their little souls.  Or watch Sponge Bob.  Either way.

Okay just kidding (sorta.)  Sundays can sometime's be an adventure at our home.  Sometimes there may even be yelling while getting everyone ready for church.  (Hypothetical.  Don't judge.)  So, in an attempt to bring a little order back to Sunday, I am creating a few things to help simplify it.

First things first.  I decided to make a list of "goals" I have for Sunday's, what I really want to get out of them.  Because I do want Sunday's to be different.  I am grateful for a day of rest, I sometimes just need some ideas to help us be restful and not just bored!

I want my Sunday's to be:

1.  Meaningful
2.  Calming
3.  Restorative
4.  Unifying
5.  Spiritual
6.  I want my kids to actually like Sunday, and the chance to take a break from all the screens.  Call me crazy.

To that end, I created a list of 50 family friendly ideas--- great for a quiet, simple Sunday.  I'm also including a card that kids can fill out with activities they would like to do.

I'm going to have my kids choose some things off of the list to fill in their
card for that Sunday.

Either my husband or I will mark things off as they do them.  They can turn in the filled out papers after dinner for a treat.  

Summer Sanity!

It's summer, it's summer!  I feel a little bit like Olaf from "Frozen" right now... you know the part where he sings about how awesome he thinks summer will be?  There's a line from the song that say's "Bees'll buzz, kids'll blow dandelion fuzz, and I'll be doing whatever snow does in summer."  Ok, just replace the "snow" with "mom" and that is how I am kind of feeling right now!  Kids are out of school tomorrow, and I have visions of us lovingly spending screen-free time together, doing a service project everyday, and throwing in a few educational activities to help prevent the summer slide, no one will be grouchy and there will never be any fighting because we will be so busy having fun!  Sigh.  Won't it be beautiful?

But I happen to know what happens to snow in the summer, and I'm pretty sure somewhere that Kristoff is whispering to Anna that he's just going to tell me the truth-summer as a mom can be hard!  Trying to stay up on the yard and house while keeping little one's entertained and engaged is a lot of work! We will definitely have a lot of fun, but I've done this summer thing a few times before, and here is a more accurate picture of what also might be coming....Mom!  I'm hungry!  Mom!  I want to watch another show!  ...MOM!  I'M BORED!

I've done this summer thing a few times before (my boys are 10, 7, and 4.)  So after years of trial and error, I've decided that the following plan will work best for my family (and my sanity!)  So feel free to borrow any of the ideas, and the printable's below.  Simply right click on the image and click "save image as" to save to your computer.  The "Summer Bucket List" is sized to be 8 x 10.  The daily schedule is sized as a 16 x 20( but can be printed as an 8 x 10.  I just printed mine at Costco.  (Clipart used were created by KPM Doodles on Etsy.)

  

The Plan!

1.  Print the above images.  I framed mine so that I could write on the glass with dry-erase markers.  

2.  Sit down with your family and fill out the bucket list of things we would like to do.  We had each boy pick one thing that was most important to them, so we could make sure at least that happened at some point. 

3.  I will fill out the daily schedule each night for the coming day.  Plans may change, but at least there is a plan!  On the left, I will write in the meals for that day.  Hopefully to stave off the constant groans of "I'm hungry!" and "there's nothing to eat!" In the middle section there will be a loose schedule.  I'm not adding times--when the kiddo's have had enough of one activity, we will move to the next.  In the third column I will have jobs for the day as well as our fun activity for the day.  

Quick Tip 

The hardest thing about summer for me has been trying to get all of the normal house and yard jobs done while the kids were all home.  My solution this year is that we will do a little bit of work each day, and we will do it TOGETHER.  Wish me luck!

My (Sample) Schedule:

Wake Up

Get Ready:  Dressed, breakfast, hair and teeth brushed, room tidied

Outside Time:  Play outside, go on a bike ride or walk to the park, etc. Spend 20 minutes working together on the yard while we're out there.  

Snack

Brain Chase-I heard about this program last year.  We tried it and loved it!  It is online learning combined with a global treasure hunt.  Highly recommend!  For my littlest guy this is when we will read stories, do puzzles, etc.

Lunch/Cleanup-I will probably have the boys spend a few minutes doing a 20 minute household chore right after lunch.

Outside

Quiet Time- Guess what?  Mom's and Dad's.  Need.  Breaks!  It's important all of the time to have breaks and rest periods throughout the day.  It is even more so in summer when there is so much going on!  The kids will each be able to choose a few toys or activities that they can play with quietly in their room for 1 hour. (Based on the age of your child, just make sure the environment is safe, and that they can call you if they need you.)  There is a great podcast called "Mommy's Quiet Time" over at Power of Moms with lots of great tips to help encourage quiet time with your own little one's.

Planned Activity-Some days this might be a bucket list item.  Other days it might just be something fun (and easy!!) we have found on Pinterest-to see my board go here. 

Dinner/Cleanup-My goal is to have everyone help with making and cleaning up dinner.  I'm going to try it. No guarantees. This time of day is usually a little tricky at our house-everyone is starting to get hungry, tired, and a little grouchy with each other. I'm hoping this will keep us all busy and I won't have to play referee while getting dinner on the table.

Play Inside or Outside- The best part of the day as far as I'm concerned is those golden hours just after dinner when everything is pretty much done for the day, the heat starts to wane, and the kids can play in the yard!

Bath or Shower

Story, Prayers, Bed!

I hope some of these things can be helpful to you.  It doesn't have to be involved, but it is nice having a plan!  What has worked for you over the summers?  Please share!

Tally Ho!

Lindsay

Dementors, Black Dogs, and a Book With No Words

Question:  What Do Dementors & Black Dogs Have In Common?
Answer: Both were attempts to describe in words the feeling of depression. (Dementors-JK Rowling; Black Dog-Winston Churchill.)

Hello All!

I created this blog over a year ago, wanting to share some of my experience in the hopes it could be of help for families and individuals with mental illness.  And here it has sat.  I shared it with a few friends and family members, but have just been too chicken to throw it out there to the world.  I mean, really, I'm a little nuts most of the time anyway...do I really want to add to the evidence?!

So I've sat back and watched this past year as suicide after suicide has been reported not only in my state, but throughout the nation.  According to the CDC, Utah has the 5th highest suicide rate in the nation.  NOT OK.  And then yesterday it hit a little closer to home, when a sophomore at the local high school committed suicide on a trail in the mountains near my home.

Frankly, I am tired of feeling as though there is nothing I can do to help--because when I watch these stories I totally get it.  While other people are shocked and dismayed and wonder how someone could give up on life...I just get it, because I've been there and (barely) survived.

Ok.  Enough dramatics.  Let's talk for a minute.  Actually, the way we "talk" and communicate is exactly what I want to discuss in this post.  So here goes...

There are currently around 171,476 words in the Second Edition of the Oxford English Dictionary.  Approximately 3,000 of those words describe emotion.

And yet, there are no words that can accurately describe depression. No wonder it can be so hard to communicate! When someone asks how you are, they might be scared off if your reply is "well actually, I'm experiencing soul crushing blackness at the moment."  That is problem A.  "How do you respond to that?!"  is problem B.  I hope that in this post I can offer some insight for both individuals struggling   battling depression, and those who want to understand a little bit more about the disease and effective ways to help.

When I was first diagnosed with depression and OCD at the age of 15, I had no idea what had hit me.  One day I was fine, just the normal up's and down's of high school.  The next?  An unfathomable darkness and hopelessness that I did not understand, compounded with horrifying intrusive thoughts. Add to this my own judgement of myself--what is wrong with me? what sort of terrible person thinks these things? I am so weak! I can not do this.  I can't.  I stopped eating.  I didn't sleep. I didn't want to be around anyone.  I had horrible, debilitating panic attacks that left me breathless and sobbing in the girls bathroom. But you want to know the scariest part? After all that, I would walk out and go back to class. And if someone asked how I was, I always said "fine."  Few knew how bleak and terrifying the world had suddenly become for me.

Those who did know that something was "up" and I wasn't feeling great had different reactions.  Here are a few of the comments I received, and a) my reaction at the time, as well as b) my thoughts now and insights into what might have been more helpful.

1.  You look fine. I don't see anything different.

• a) I think I physically looked down at myself when I got this comment.  I was in so much pain, how could that not be radiating out of me?  I wished people could see it, not because I wanted to be dramatic and "woe is me" but because then maybe it would seem more real, that I wasn't just making it up.

• b) Depression, like other mental illnesses is an invisible disease.  Keyword here is disease.  Not weakness, or lack of fortitude, etc.  It often is hereditary.  (I sometimes say that my depression is my least favorite genetic gift!)  Regardless, it is easy to miss, even in someone you love and see often.  
• If you are experiencing symptoms of depression, it's okay to ask for help.  Contrary to popular belief on social media, it is even ok to not be "fine" all the time!  At one point when I was struggling as a young mother, I asked for help from a family member.  She asked what she could help with, and I just cried that I did not know, that things were just not okay.  She just said "alright,  I got it."  And within a day was at my home doing the laundry, caring for the kids, and helping with meals. Lifting the burden of household chores is often automatic when someone we know has a visible illness.  It is less so, but just as imperative when someone has an invisible illness.   My depression did not last forever.  I did not need help for years.  But I absolutely did need help at that time. 

2. Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps.  You'll be fine.

• a) I'm really, really trying!  I'm doing everything I can!  But nothing is working!
• b)  Come closer.  I would like to now hit you with said boot straps.  
• I cannot stress enough that depression is an illness.  We call it a mental illness, but research is showing that it could be more accurately described as a physical illness of the brain, and should be treated as such.   

3.  Don't you think your being a little dramatic?  It's probably just hormones.

• a)  "Maybe.  I don't know.  Probably.  I guess I'm just being dramatic.  I'll try not to be."  My interpretation of this was that something was wrong with me, and that I was somehow making myself miserable through my own theatrics.  The takeaway?  This was MY fault-I was doing this to myself.

• b)  You know what?  Hormones were definitely part of the equation.  But it wasn't simply roller coaster emotions.  This was way more.  This was it's own special brand of hell.

4.  You should....pray more, read the scriptures more, do some service

• a)  "You're right!  That's it!  I totally should!" and I did all of those things.  But none of them helped me feel better.  Not one.  Which actually made me feel worse, because in my heart I thought they should.  And when they didn't I thought it was MY fault, that somehow I had sinned or displeased God.

• b)  This one is tricky.  I live in a very religious environment.  I myself am a very active member of the LDS church.  I am eternally grateful for a loving Heavenly Father.  He has been my one lifeline many times, even when I thought for sure he had quit listening.  One thing that is taught at church (any church) is that feelings of despair can be a direct result of sin. Which it can be sometimes.  That's called having a conscience.  HOWEVER, depression is NOT a result of sin.  It is not the person's fault.  Therefore, the usual arsenal of tools that can be helpful when you are experiencing sadness are rarely effective on their own in providing relief for depression.  
• Consider this:  you would not tell a person fighting cancer that they would feel better if they would just do more service, or pray more.  That said, I do not mean to imply in any way that if you are a religious person that you should not pray.  God loves you!  Even if you feel that He is not there, He is.

5.  I just don't see what you're so sad about.  You have a great family, food, a house, etc, etc.

• a)  I know!  I should be happy.  I am so ungrateful.  What is wrong with me?
• b)  Oh my.  This is probably one of the hardest.  Once again we have a situation where the typical arsenal of tools in our toolbox is just not going to work.  Having gratitude, looking on the bright side, being positive...all are very powerful tools for everyday living.  But they are in large part ineffective against the pain of depression, and can often only add feelings of shame and guilt to whatever is already happening.  

So if our usual tools are so woefully inadequate in helping with depression, what can we do?   Over the next few weeks I will go into detail on some of the tools and strategies I have developed over the years that have been useful in helping both myself and my family gain the upper hand.  Because guess what?  This can get better.  It does get better.  It will get better.

You can also look at the resources located at the top of this blog for more strategies.

Tally Ho!

Lindsay

(Printable!) My Top 10 Strategies for Battling Depression and Anxiety

A Little Sunday Encouragement

Words...they have the power to uplift and to well, down-lift.  (Is that a word?  I guess I should say "depress", but that word gets way too much playing time as far as I'm concerned.) 

I found this great article on Pinterest today, and thought it would be a perfect Sunday post.  The scriptures used aren't necessarily just for the hard days, but for any day you just need a little cheerleading to get you on your way.

Enjoy!

-Lindsay

10 Scriptures to Help You Get Through the Hard Days