7 Ways To Reduce Stress

What I Learned....

 ....and where I learned it from.  Check out Liesl McConchie's Youtube channel for fantastic information and strategies on brain-based home learning strategies. 

We can learn to do hard things!

Break the Fear Cycle

Not to brag, but my brain was creating fear, panic, and uncertainty WAY before this whole COVID-19 thing.   Super cool.  Don't be jealous.  Thanks for that OCD wiring.

I know how it feels to want to take action to eliminate fear and gain some control-even when the action we take might make no sense! (IE: I'm afraid of a virus!  To be less afraid I will buy all of the toilet paper in Costco! Take that COVID-19!)

 I have spent years researching and learning about the psychology behind fear, and how to manage and move forward through each day and NOT engage in any actions that are a response to fear--even when it seems like the actions will alleviate the fear.  The truth is, the more we fear, the MORE we fear.  It creates a vicious cycle.

We certainly have legitimate concerns in the world right now.  As I watch the news, my greatest concern is the number of people acting out of fear.  Not so much fear of the virus, but all the possible what-if's.

What if we run out of toilet paper?

What if we run out of bottled water?

What if there isn't enough food?

What if I can't get cold/flu meds?

Ok, Chicken Little.  I hear you.  This is scary, and it feels like the sky is falling.  But, the result is a nation that is FEEDING THE FEAR, and CREATING the outcomes that it fears most!

Right now, we have no evidence from manufacturers and stores that we will not have enough of everything.   It is the fear and the what-if's that are taking a serious situation and turning it into a multi-faceted crisis.   

It takes courage to have faith and trust in uncertain times.  Courage to face the uncertainty of the future.  Faith that we can handle what is coming by focusing on one day at a time.  Trust in each other to purchase only what we need, and share what we have.  

We can learn to do hard things---Together. 

Homeschool?! FREE Sanity Saving Printable's

I wanted to share some of what I have been working on as I get prepared to homeschool my guy's starting tomorrow (bless my heart.)  I am sure there will be tweaks to make over time, but I wanted to at least have some semblance of a plan!  I have included blank pages as well as how I have things set up for my family.

Hugs Friends.  We can learn to do hard things.    

-Lindsay

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My Favorite Emotional/Behavioral Strategies & Resources

1.  Adjust expectations to meet capacity so no one loses  their marbles!

2.  Reframe the Behavior

Source: Dr. Stuart Shanker Self-Reg Website

3.  It doesn't have to make sense to you 

to feel real to them.

4.  Meet Them Where They Are At (Not Where You Think They Should Be) And Give Support Accordingly

5. Address challenging behavior when both you and the child are calm and regulated. Not a moment before.   

Websites

A Fine Parent

Beyond Behaviors-Dr. Mona Delahooke

Bright & Quirky

Empowered To Connect

Lives In The Balance-Dr. Ross Greene

Self-Reg Dr. Stuart Shanker

Trust Based Relational Intervention Video's-Dr. Karyn Purvis/TCU

The Brilliance of Understanding

I recently viewed the HBO version of the play “Every Brilliant Thing."  This one-person play provides insight into the experience of a husband and child of a woman who has clinical depression, and ultimately loses her life after years of battling symptoms of that illness.  The play features a list created by her child that identifies things worth living for.

There is one character, however, who we don’t get any insight into—that of “Mum” herself.  The play, told in retrospect and flashbacks, does not feature her viewpoint or experience.  She is referred to as someone who “finds it hard to be happy.”  Someone who is “sad.”  Someone who does “stupid” things.  Someone who does not focus on “every brilliant thing” worth living for. Without Mum’s perspective we are missing a critical piece of the puzzle, and are left perplexed by her seemingly inexplicable actions. 

Last year I wrote my own list titled “Things That Didn’t Suck Today.” Catchy right?  To be fair, I was at what would turn out to be the tail end of nearly 2 ½ years of acute symptoms of clinical depression.  This wasn’t my first rodeo.  All told, 9 of the past 22 years have been spent battling this disorder.  I have studied it, lived it, visited doctor’s, and read countless self-help books covering topics from better sleep to rearranging Chakra’s, all in the search for a cure, or at the very least, strategies to lessen the intense mental, physical, and emotional suffering. 

While I did not choose to have a mental health disorder, I am grateful that I can find meaning in my experience, and share what I have learned along the way.  "Every Brilliant Thing" will be performed tomorrow evening at the high school near my home.  It is an opportunity to discuss, demystify, and bring better awareness and understanding to the subject of mental health, and specifically mental health disorders such as depression.

Below are some resources that I often share that might help give perspective and voice to those, who like Mum, experience symptoms of depression.  Because connecting and communicating the experience of those who suffer with those who can provide support, is something that would truly be brilliant.

CLINICAL DEPRESSION IS AN ILLNESS

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER:  Know what you’re up against!  Fear and stigma are often the result of misunderstanding.  Learn about your and/or your loved one’s illness. Spend 5 or 10 minutes on one of the following websites to get a better understanding of what you’re facing.  NAMI      The Mighty      Child Mind

VALIDATION AND EMPATHY CAN BE LIFE SAVING:  Provide validation and empathy of the experience.  Here is a great short animation from Brene Brown on empathy.  Self-compassion, and compassion from others can be life saving when you have a mental illness.  Bottom line?  You, dear friend, are not alone. 

COMMUNICATING LEVELS OF DISTRESS IS CRITICAL: Because asking “what’s wrong?” does not always yield an answer that conveys what is being felt, a 1-10 mental health scale can be useful to identify the intensity of what is being experienced.  Similar to taking someone’s temperature with a thermometer, this tool is meant to illustrate the amount of suffering occurring, but will not necessarily show the cause of the suffering.